My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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