it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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