dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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