did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize