i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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