Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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