That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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