I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize