What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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