Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize