I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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