dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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