He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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