Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize