I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have aggressive nipples.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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