when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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