I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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