Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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