I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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