We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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