I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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