you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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