Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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