Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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