So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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