You really coming over, don't trick.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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