Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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