just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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