wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize