So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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