By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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