i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize