It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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