I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
try to milk me bitch
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