Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize