Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers http://tfl.nu/97ey
  Replies (15) Good night (24370) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday... (1-702): ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha http://tfl.nu/3d74
  Replies (19) Good night (2554) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame http://tfl.nu/uj51
  Replies (29) Good night (7780) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other http://tfl.nu/boea
  Replies (24) Good night (5516) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (874) Bad night (6716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1 http://tfl.nu/kfm1
  Replies (5) Good night (2089) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/6syz
  Replies (12) Good night (2633) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z
  Replies (10) Good night (3281) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (4) Good night (3131) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much? http://tfl.nu/0m7u
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget." http://tfl.nu/mx4s
  Replies (4) Good night (1732) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/agha
  Replies (1) Good night (1652) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real. http://tfl.nu/qhs0
  Replies (8) Good night (443) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

Randomize