I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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