DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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