it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize