my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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