I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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