filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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