I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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