Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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