I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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