My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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