It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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