she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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