i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize