Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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